Family Hero

 I must admit, I have been anxious about how we are going to tackle snow removal. I know that many repeat heart attacks occur when the individual is shoveling heavy snow. I would like to avoid this scenario! I also tried to quell my anxiety by reminding myself that Scott is in better shape now than he was last winter. He has been dutiful about maintaining a new diet and exercise regime. He has continued with his cardiac therapy exercises by going to the gym 3-4 times a week. From a physical perspective, Scott is stronger and healthier than he has been in decades. Regardless of these facts, I continue to worry.

I am extraordinarily proud of Robby because he didn't give Scott the option of clearing the driveway. Yesterday morning he woke up and immediately put on his snow clothes. After a brief instruction from Scott on the snowblower operation, Robby got to work.   Our electric snow blower struggled to break through the layer of ice that landed atop our wonderland, making it more difficult to reach the asphalt.  It took Robby nearly 3 hours to clear both driveways, but he never stopped or complained. 

After resting from clearing the driveway, Robby again geared up to head into the woods with Timmy in the afternoon. Timmy was delighted to discover his brother standing outside his classroom door, dressed for a snowy adventure. My goodness Timmy changed into his snow clothes in record time!

The pair explored the woods for over an hour, returning ready for dinner and eager to tell us about the bear tracks that they discovered. (Robby did convince Timmy that following them was a bad idea.) 

 I suspect that Robby will need to return to his dorm tonight, but I will certainly miss him. He has stepped into the 'family snow hero' role.

 

SNOW

 Snow!

After waiting for a decade, we have finally had another whopper of a storm. By the times the last flake fell, we measured 10 inches. While not the 20 we had anticipated, the layer of sleet on top has made the yard perfect for sledding. 

Yesterday was too snowy and cold for the boys to go out to play during the day. Timmy did go out at night for a few minutes, but he came in looking and feeling like an icicle. Today it is supposed to warm up a few degrees, so I anticipate a lot of snow play in their future.

In anticipation of the storm, Robby's college closed until Wednesday. Scott was able to pick him up before the storm, so we are all snowed in together. I am not going to lie, it is wonderful to be "stuck" at home with everybody. There is something relaxing about watching movies in front of the fireplace while the snow storm is raging outside. 

Today Scott and Robby will work on digging us out. Hopefully our new snowblower is up to the task! They have a few days because our schools are closed until at least Wednesday. While they are outside, I'll be baking bread and cookies inside.   

Waiting?

 I was asked about the status of my prosthesis and my plans for acquiring a new leg.  Right now my device is manageable. Is it broken? Yes. It squeaks and clicks but I have learned how to pad the mechanism to mask the sound. I know that I need a new one, but I also recognize the time commitment that will require.

In order to obtain a completely comfortable new prosthesis, I am going to need to go to at least four appointments. One with a medical doctor to confirm that I am still an amputee, and at least three to the prosthetist to mold, fit and tweak the socket. It is going to take several afternoons and I don't have the time right now.

I am hoping that my leg can hold out until June. School is over the first week in June and I will have the entire summer to get the fit perfect. At this point, although my foot is technically broken, I'm still comfortable and mobile. I do so much walking everyday that I simply don't want to risk my existing comfort. 

Of course this plan could switch in a moment. Hopefully the device will wait until June, because it is the most convenient. Unfortunately, convenience and amputee life are not synonymous.  

Foil

 Robby spent the weekend working on an essay detailing a time he overcame a stressful situation. I was not surprised that he chose to share his Dad's heart attack in his writing. Although logically Robby knows that the event was not his fault, the timing fits a different narrative. He continues to blame himself because his Dad was helping him move heavy boxes from the third floor of his dormitory. 

I read Robby's essay and I could see my little boy processing his pain and fears. As the months have passed and we have adjusted to our new normal as a cardiac family, I had assumed that Robby had fully processed and boxed his misguided guilt. Obviously I was wrong, and I feel like I have failed him.

Scott read the essay and became despondent that his heart attack negatively impacted his son. While I understand his perspective, I have to admit that my threshold for mollycoddling on that particular issue is low. The reality is that I have been the foil for every 'personal' essay that the boys have ever written. The 'my amputee mom taught me' is an easy prompt that both have fully explored through their directed writings. This is the first time that I have not been the topic, which honestly feels refreshing.

I hope Robby will allow me to share his essay.   

MLK Jr.

 Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Typically it is designated as a day to volunteer and to give back to the community. Instead, today I will join my friends in the streets at a friendly, peaceful, protected protest. I can't imagine spending the day anywhere else.

After a short week back at school Robby came home for the weekend. He is planning on staying for the next few weekends, so this will be his last visit for awhile. I thoroughly enjoyed having him home and helping him get organized for the new semester. His courses sound so interesting I wish I could return to college!

Unfortunately, Robby's visit has caused Timmy's jealousy to go into overdrive. I suppose he rather enjoyed his taste of being the 'only child' for a few days. While I will miss Robby when he returns to the dorm, I don't think I can say the same for his little brother. I know that Timmy will miss him, it will just take awhile.

Shoe Tying

 Yikes. It's cold this morning, and the temps are only going to drop. Let me tell you, my leg is feeling every single temperature plunge. My phantom pain has been omnipresent over the past few days. It hasn't been severe enough to medicate, but it is always in the background, lurking and reminding me that I could be struck down by at any moment.

It's exhausting!

Today I will be in meetings for the majority of the day which is a mixed blessing. I'm happy to be off my foot and out of the cold temperatures, but I abhor sitting around a table for hours on end. I would much rather be spending the time with my students.

Speaking of my students, I'm hoping somebody may be able to help me. I need to teach a kiddo how to tie her shoes (she is losing recess because she lacks the skill). Unfortunately for her, I am really bad at teaching shoe tying.  If you have any tips, tricks or video tutorials, please send them my way!

 

F*ck ICE

 I am devastated that we now live in a country where our streets are being roamed by the federal police. ICE  has moved the needle on hate in this country. Individuals are now not only saying but are acting upon their most vile racist thoughts. As a student of history by default, I am both scared and disgusted by what we have become.

This is the 250th birthday of our country. If you know me at all, you know I love a themed year. Oh my goodness I could get behind this party if times were better. But right now, the celebrations for our country are so tightly linked to MAGA and their 2025 agenda that I cannot fathom participating. 

This morning I am late posting because I had to rework my schedule. ICE is in the area and I cannot fathom risking exposing my blind non-white students to their taunts and grudges. The fact that this is our reality disgusts me.

We need to collectively rise up.